Thoughts after a Saturday of downhill running, dinks, dunks, and complementary football

I was in the somewhat unfamiliar role of couch potato Saturday, at least a couch potato on a college football Saturday.

Oh, the things you see and hear watching games on an off from 11 a.m. to 1 a.m. Wouldn’t you just know it, some of the things bugged me.

1. I don’t care what a coach told the TV announcing team in a meeting the day before the game, though announcers like to tell us they met with that coach. The coach isn’t going to tell them anything juicy for use on the air.

If the coach tells them the play his team will run if it goes for a 2-point conversion, or under what situation his team definitely will run a fake punt, and the announcers tell us before it happens? Then I’m listening.

But they don’t.

2. No one in football runs downhill despite what you’ve heard. Every announcer who says a running back is running downhill is lying to you.

3. The word “football” is the most overused word in football. He’s a great football player. I’m proud of this football team. No one calls the NFL the NFL, it’s always called “The National Football League.”

It’s all part of making the sport sound like something that should be distinguished from all else, something sacred and above mere mortal pursuits. You know, like golf announcers do with golf.

4. The Ole Miss Rebels. Really?

Then I thought about it. The Ole Miss Rebels. Of course they are.

5. No one has a nose for the football no matter how many times the phrase is used. The players aren’t bears who can sniff out picnic baskets. Footballs aren’t even aromatic.

6. Dink and dunk. What in the name of Patrick Mahomes does that mean? It’s how a reliance on short passes is described. Dunks are in basketball, and they’re forceful. How is throwing a 5-yard pass a dunk?

“Dink shot” is an acceptable sports term, just not in football. Dink shots are finesse shots in tennis and volleyball. They are gentle shots, and torn ACLs and MCLs are almost never the result.

7. Every football season, terms come out of nowhere to become accepted as wisdom. “Complementary football” is a current one. It means nothing.

Complementary football is the offense helping the defense by staying on the field for long stretches and scoring points, while the defense does its part by getting the ball back on three-and-outs or with turnovers.

In other words, it’s succeeding on offense and defense.

8. Something else that has spread recently is coaches and athletes saying they want to be the best version of me/us.

How do they know when they’ve done that? And, why wouldn’t they want to be the best version of themselves at the end of the season, or next year, or in their post-football lives?

I investigated this one. Well, “investigated” is a bit of an exaggeration. I used Google.

It told me being the best version of yourself is a continuous journey of self-improvement involving self-reflection, setting achievable goals, cultivating self-compassion, and embracing lifelong learning to live with purpose, confidence, and fulfillment. It's about making consistent, intentional choices that align with your values and foster personal growth, rather than a pursuit of perfection.

It seems like a lot of work.

9. The chant “Overrated!” by fans late in a game is self-defeating.

You’re saying the team that your beloved squad is vanquishing wasn’t as good as advertised. Which makes your victory less significant.

I think Indiana fans were chanting that at Illinois’ players late in the Hoosiers’ 63-10 win over the Illini Saturday night, but I kept getting distracted by the Hoosiers scoring touchdowns.

10. This isn’t a grievance. In fact, it’s the opposite.

It’s been reported that Texas Tech’s football players are making a total of $28 million in NIL money this season. Oil billionaire Cody Campbell — of course he’s an oil billionaire — is footing much of the bill.

Campbell also is a former Red Raider football player, and is chairman of Texas Tech’s Board of Regents.

Texas Tech won at ranked Utah Saturday to improve to 4-0, and looks as formidable as any Big 12 team. It’s always nice to see a billionaire get the return he wanted for his investment.

Comments: (319) 398-8440; mike.hlas@thegazette.com