20 jokes to crack to your friends

We collected some of the best — and worst — jokes out there. Pick out your favorites, then try a few on a friend!

What has ears but can’t hear? A cornfield!

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff.

What did the grape say when the giant sat on it? Nothing. It just gave a little wine.

How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer!

What’s the best way to throw a party on Mars? You planet.

Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? He’s a fungi.

Why did the clown always choose the red balloon? Because they were pop-ular.

Why can't you see elephants when they hide in trees? Because they're good at it.

What did the fish say when she swam into a wall? Dam.

Someone stole all my lamps. I should be upset, but I'm just de-lighted.

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was de-Brie everywhere.

How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together.

A big moron and a little moron were standing on a cliff. The big moron fell off. Do you know why the other one didn't? Because he was a little more on.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What did the right eye say to the left eye? Between you and me, something smells.

What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.

How do poets say hello? Hey, haven’t we metaphor?

What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!

What do you call a train carrying lots of bubblegum? A chew-chew train.

— Gazette staff and Reader’s Digest