The Week — Water wars and the Straw Prom loses its theme

SHILL WATERS RUN DEEP

So a couple of weeks ago, I noted Mayor Ron Corbett's plan for a 'pivot.” He told reporters in Des Moines that he would pivot from largely completed flood recovery work to traveling the state to tell his city's story. Part of that story is Cedar Rapids' effort to forge partnerships with rural counties upstream to reduce runoff and improve watershed health.

It sounded like a swell idea. I envisioned the mayor, rolling across Iowa, a lone, but determined evangelist for water quality. His agenda? To help. To enlighten. To maybe see if there's any interest in, oh, I don't know, a gubernatorial campaign. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Well, not quite.

Turns out Corbett is now on the board of what's called the Iowa Partnership for Clean Water. It's a 501c4 non-profit that is, according to its Monday news release, 'designed to help broaden the understanding of agriculture as it pertains to clean water and conservation initiatives within Iowa…”

'The Iowa Partnership for Clean Water (IPCW) will help balance the dialogue between the need for agriculture production in Iowa and water quality solutions that enable meaningful progress,” the release said. Also, the group 'plans to bring together rural and urban Iowans and highlight the critical importance of voluntary and collaborative efforts to improve water quality and sustain Iowa's agricultural production.”

Hard to argue with any of that. Anything else?

'IPCW works to inform all stakeholders - both rural and urban - about the consequences of frivolous legal action against farmers and the agriculture industry.”

OK, now we've arrived at what they call the gist, the nub, the crux.

What it appears we have here is a public relations push to counter a lawsuit filed by the Des Moines Water Works against three rural counties it contends have done too little to reduce nitrate runoff into the Raccoon River. That's the source of drinking water for our capital city, and its Water Works has been forced to install a very pricey nitrate filtration system to deal with the issue. Nitrates are bad for babies, btw.

The Water Works points out, according to The Des Moines Register, that the Iowa Partnership for Clean Water lists the Iowa Farm Bureau's West Des Moines headquarters as its address and the bureau's general counsel as its registered agent. The partnership has contracted with LS2 Group, a marketing firm, to buy $157,000 in TV ads to run in Cedar Rapids, Des Moines and the Quad Cities.

'One of the goals of IPCW is to inform all stakeholders - both rural and urban - about the consequences of legal action against farmers and agriculture,” Corbett said in the release. The mayor is a member of the partnership board along with former Lt. Gov. Patty Judge, Des Moines City Council member Christine Hensley and Plymouth County Supervisor Don Kass.

'Such action has the potential to impede the progress we've made toward improving our waterways,” Corbett said.

I'm in total agreement with cooperation and collaboration, and the need to sell the idea of conservation to farmers using carrots, not sticks. The fact of the matter is we have a voluntary Nutrient Management Strategy aimed at reducing pollutants, and we're going to have to make that strategy work. There is no political will to impose mandatory standards. So this is it.

But the Des Moines Water Works is not the problem. Of all the things impeding progress on water quality, that lawsuit doesn't make the top 10.

I'm sort of surprised to see Corbett making that argument. He's a mayor who has railed against outsiders telling his city it can't have project labor agreements, can't have a casino, can't have speed cameras. And yet, here he is, second-guessing another municipality's effort to solve its local problem.

And the real problem facing Des Moines and the entire state is how we've failed to provide adequate dollars to make sure voluntary standards can work. We need hundreds of millions of dollars to partner with farmers in adopting farming practices that we know reduce pollution, improve soil quality, lessen the need for fertilizer, mitigate flooding, etc. So far, we've thrown peanuts at the elephant.

Many, many producers are willing to put up their own bucks to do it, but we have to match them with public dollars. We have to put our money where our collaboration is.

Instead, we have Gov. Terry Branstad, the Farm Bureau's 'Friend of Agriculture,” who vetoed millions of dollars in 2014, spending supported by both parties, that would have gone to these partnerships. He claimed we couldn't afford it, although that same state budget will end up with a surplus in June. It was a lousy, shortsighted decision, the sort we pay for again and again.

His budget plan for next year does nothing to fix his mistake. There's been no serious Statehouse effort to explore a sales tax increase to fill a constitutionally protected natural resources trust fund overwhelmingly approved by voters five years ago. Those dollars that could boost water quality efforts considerably.

But among Statehouse priorities, water quality sits somewhere between business tax breaks and legalizing bottle rockets.

And don't forget the Branstad administration's effort to let homebuilders scrap a rule requiring them to restore topsoil with an eye on runoff and water quality. Seems like some urban 'stakeholders” are getting a free pass.

So, no, this lawsuit isn't the culprit keeping Iowa's water dirty. And yet, the Iowa Partnership for Clean Water makes no mention of other issues, the state's failures to be a partner, to provide anywhere near adequate dollars or to provide real leadership. Nope. Instead, it's the victim's fault. The Water Works is to blame. Frivolous! A war on rural Iowa, as the governor says.

I agree that most farmers want to do the right thing. Many already have, so some progress is being made. Pitching the need for collaboration and cooperation is important. Cedar Rapids has done a great job under Corbett's watch.

But it's also important to take our political leaders to task for failing to provide the resources needed to make cooperation happen across Iowa. If the Iowa Partnership for Clean Water speaks truth to power, taking both its critics and friends to task, it might actually have a real effect. Otherwise, it's little more than PR.

FLORIDIAN TOO GOOD FOR STRAW POLL, APPARENTLY

So comes news this week that the former governor of Florida, son and brother of presidents, Iowa Republicans' seventh most dreamy White House hopeful, has declined an invitation to straw prom.

Yep, Jeb Bush says he won't be buying votes, slapping sweaty backs and slinging ‘cue at the Iowa GOP's August Straw Poll, to be held at the palatial intersection of Highways 30 and 17 near Boone. Instead, Bush will be attending a RedState confab in Atlanta.

At least he didn't break up with us in a text. Still …

'We hope Governor Bush rethinks his decision and realizes that grass-roots will only grow in Iowa if he waters them,” said Iowa GOP Chairman Jeff Kaufmann, dispensing sound political and gardening advice.

Kaufmann pointed out that a bunch of other hopefuls are totally going to both the straw prom and RedState. So Jeb's excuse is epic lame, not that we wanted him to come anyway. It will be totally fun without him. Other candidates are coming. Probably?

Unfortunately, the official Straw Prom theme, 'Jeb's Poll Numbers Under the Sea,” will have to be changed.

Here are the nominees:

'Repealing the Night Away.”

'Stairway to American Exceptionalism.”

'Unlimited, Unregulated, Unforgettable.”

'Boots on the Ground, Reach for the Stars.”

'A Night at the Casbah with U.S. Special Forces.”

'August in Boone.”

'Huck's Heaven on Earth.”

'First, We Secure the Border. Then, We Dance.”

'Studio Rubio.”

'RINO Masquerade.”

'Enchanted Land of Rand.”

'The Internal Romance Service.”

'Trump Prom, Presented by Donald Trump, Starring Donald Trump.”

'Bright Lights, Gun Rights, Laser Sights.”

'A Night in the Gilded Age.”

'Bread Bags and Bootstraps.”

'Ted Cruz will be Closely Monitoring All Dancing.”

'Fiorina Fandango Fantasy”

'Moving to the Right, All Night.”

'Electric Dairyland”

'A Key Test of Organizational Strength.”