Ideally, I'd like to cover Iowa against Iowa State in the NCAA men's basketball tournament championship game.
Not because I'm a homer, but because I'm a selfish, greedy, desperate character. To have a story like that would get my Web traffic spinning in infinity. I'd say amen and hallelujah, and let the fans of both teams verbally bludgeon each other before, during and after the event. One would hope words wouldn't lead to physicality, and Iowa wouldn't be left in chaos and ruins.
OK, maybe an Iowa-ISU national-title game isn't the best idea. Ah, what the heck. Let's give it a try, anyhow. It only takes a combined 11 wins between the two teams to make it happen.
But if that can't play out, here are seven other scenarios I'd like to see during these NCAAs:
1. Wichita State wins it all
One of the biggest myths in American sports is that people love underdogs. They don't. They dislike them intensely, in fact. No one but Wichitanians want to give Wichita State credit for its unbeaten season, it seems. I'd love to see the Shockers rack up six more 'W's.
2. Harvard beats Cincinnati
Nothing against the Bearcats, but for Harvard to win NCAA games two straight years would leave college basketball shaken. What would there be left to believe in if a non-athletic scholarship team could do such a thing? Maybe the whole concept of athletic scholarships would be abandoned.
By the way, all students who are admitted to Harvard are provided appropriate financial assistance if needed, including athletes.
3. Cal Poly goes to the Final Four with a losing record
Cal Poly is in the NCAAs with a 13-19 record. It plays Texas Southern Wednesday night, with the winner proceeding to a game Friday against Wichita State.
The Mustangs of San Luis Obispo won the Big West tournament with three upset triumphs in three days to earn their first NCAA berth. How fantastic would it be for a team to get to the Final Four with an 18-19 record?
4. Creighton plays Nebraska in the third-round, Oklahoma plays Oklahoma State in the West Regional semifinal, Michigan plays Michigan State in the national-title game
But I don't want to see Louisville against Kentucky in the Sweet 16. I don't want to see either in the Sweet 16, if truth be told.
5. Duke loses to Mercer
C'mon, we all remember how good it made us feel two years ago when 15th-seeded Lehigh beat 2nd-seed Duke right out of the gates. I watched it on a big-screen TV outdoors at some sort of street festival in downtown Louisville. Fans of several teams at the NCAA site there joined locals in reveling in Duke's defeat. Americans came together that night
6. A Final Four including Saint Louis, St. Joseph's and Mount St. Mary's
That's not said for religious purposes. I don't even know who St. Louis was. Is he the patron saint of big rivers, baseball and beer?
I just think the confusion caused by all those saints would be tremendous, and it would make the representative from the saint-less West Regional look like heathens.
7. A major set of screw-ups during a tournament game in which timeouts are only two minutes long, officials never go to television monitors to review a play, a network sideline announcer asks a pointed question to a coach at halftime, and a color commentator says "This game stinks. It's too bad almost all of the really good 20- and 21-year-old players are in the NBA."
Is that too much to ask?