I can't believe it's not an effective protest

Shooting fish in a barrel is downright cruel and inhumane. I don't like to do it.

But someone vandalizes the State Fair's iconic Butter Cow, to, somehow, advance the cause of "animal liberation." And then, what choice do you have? The barrel is right there. Full of fish. Big, slow fish.

You've no doubt seen or heard the story of stealthy animal rights activists throwing red paint on the butter cow early Sunday, while also scrawling "Freedom for All" on its glass cooler case in red spray paint. The damage was cleaned up so fast that almost nobody knew it happened. Who knew we had a Butter Cow rapid response team? Then Iowans for Animal Liberation sent out a media release claiming responsibility, along with a photo. The fun began.

So they got lots of attention. I guess that was one mission accomplished.

Of course, the liberators also made sure that if there actually happen to be any legitimate concerns surrounding the livestock industry's treatment of animals, food safety, etc., those issues have now been doused in a nice thick coat of red crazy. And some of it has no doubt splashed on to sane people and groups trying to point out those issues without feeling the need to vandalize beloved Iowa icons. The liberators gave vegans a bad name, handed the interests they oppose a huge buttery public relations victory and probably caused a one-day jump in meat sales.

I personally lunched yesterday on a sandwich made from a pork steak and a ribeye with a stick of butter in between, wrapped in bacon. No, I didn't, but it has possibilities.

That's a lot of failure to pack into a single night of painting. Although they did bring Iowans together in sweet cream solidarity. We stood with the cow.

The good news is, it was such a failure that we probably won't see any copycat groups trying anything similar at the fair. The Spandex Liberation Army probably won't attempt its rumored "free the flab" action, which is a big relief. No one will dare try to release the Big Boar into the wild of the East Side. Or even get him to stand up.

Still, we shouldn't let our guard down. I hope Albert the Bull in Audubon is on high alert. And we need to keep an eye on the World's Largest Frying Pan in Brandon, which, according to the Internets, is big enough to fry 88 pounds of bacon. If that ever fell into the liberators' hands, who knows what might happen.