From March 22, 2011.
I ran across an article a while back on how annoyed some people get when other people, who are enjoying fabulous trips to warmer climates, constantly tweet or text about how fabulous it is.
Our parents sat through slide shows. Now, we endure “White sand. 85 degrees. Heaven. #wishyouwerehere.”
So during the course of my family’s 3,000-mile road trip to Florida and back last week, I refrained from such sun-tanned smugness. I was also determined to remain unplugged as much as possible.
Now that I’m back up north with y’all, my guilt has melted away. Here’s what I might have tweeted, had I been less sensitive to your feelings.
“Winding through rural southeast Alabama, because Google Maps told me to. #secondthoughts.”
“Super. There isn’t a car or town in sight. #makinggoodtime.”
“Scary. There isn’t a car or town in sight. #theywereneverfound.”
“Seems like almost everything in Georgia is ‘historic.’ #franklymydear #wedonthavetimetostop.”
“Florida I-75. Site of 2011 National Bad Driving Tournament. I drew a weaving Ohio SUV in round one.”
“GA. billboard for stripper joint says free coffee for truckers. Bad idea. #painfulburns.”
“Kids listening to Taylor Swift on headphones. Aww … Ella is singing along. #toocute”
“OMG. Ella singing at the top of her lungs for over 100 miles. Make it stop, please. #tooannoying.”
“At Twins-Phillies spring training game with my dad. Sunshine. Cold beer. Hot dog. Priceless. Actually $12.25.”
“Twins mascot picks up Ella. Gives her a big squeeze. Careful pal. She ate cotton candy, a hot dog and a snow cone.”
“Sanibel Island beach is beautiful. Kids pick up approx. 1/3 of gulf’s total seashells. Soon to be spilled in van.”
“Tess desperate to find live alligator at Ding Darling Wildlife Refuge. Oh dang. No luck. #dadquietlygrateful.”
“Delicious shrimp served by very large waiter with thick Jersey accent. #witnessprotection #fuggedaboutit.”
“We can’t leave Florida without a sack of overpriced oranges. #leftinhotel.”
“Sherman swiftly captured Atlanta. He did not arrive at 5 p.m. If he had, he would still be here. #southernrevenge”
“Reward for 11-hour drive? Tepid green beer at Chili’s in Dalton, Ga. #irisheyes. #notsmiling.”
“Drag family to Fort Donelson battlefield in Tenn. Ella wonders when battle starts. We’re 149 years late, sweetie. #toomanypottystops”
“Almost home. What? A chance of snow next weekend? #turnaround #goback.”
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