University of Iowa football coach Hayden Fry serves a meal to his players Mel Cole, left, and Andre Tippett in Los Angeles, where the team is to play against Washington in the Rose Bowl, in this Dec. 23, 1981 photo. The worst of Fry's 20 seasons with the Hawkeyes ended with an embarrassing 49-7 loss at Minnesota on Saturday, the Golden Gophers' most lopsided Big Ten win in 49 years. Fry has a news conference scheduled for 2 p.m. Monday Nov. 23, 1998. (AP photo Nick Ut)

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OK, we’re going against the spread because we are rebels here. The spreads are in the chart.

(Note: Very little thought went into this, as you’ll soon discover. I really just wanted to run that picture of Hayden.)

New Mexico Bowl — I’ve been to Tucson. Really bright sunset, really nutty fans. Arizona

Idaho Potato — A battle of coaches who are going places, but who also are in Boise. Utah State

Poinsettia — Home game for San Diego State, but no one can win against Cougars. BYU

Beef O’Brady’s — It’s in St. Petersburg, Fla., if that helps. Going underdog. Ball State

New Orleans — I think it’s in New Orleans. Louisiana-Lafayette

Las Vegas — Skipping location joke. Boise State

Hawaii — The big island? I don’t know which one is the big island. I need to brush up on my Hawaii geography. SMU

Little Caesars — This bowl is in Detroit. Would you have gone, Hawkeye fans? I know you would’ve. Western Kentucky

Military — It feels sort of contradictory to pick a team from California in the Military Bowl. San Jose State

Belk — Excuse you! (Kidding, it’s a department store in the south, I think, and not a bodily function.) Cincinnati

Holiday — Big Ten, please, please, please, bring San Diego back into the fold. UCLA

Independence — This is where the Poulan Weed Eater Bowl used to be. La-Monroe

Russell Athletic — This bowl is in Orlando. Shreveport > Orlando. Va Tech

Meineke Car Care — Is this good goal for the Hawkeyes next year? It won’t excite you, but the answer is yes. Texas Tech

Armed Forces — Pretty interesting piece by USA Today’s Dan Wolken on how the elimination of cut blocks would affect the service academies. Air Force

Kraft Fight Hunger — I like where this bowl’s heart is, but I don’t know why it exists. Arizona State

Pinstripe — No, Big Ten. Just say no. Aw, never mind. The Big Ten is so gonna grab this one after next year (the last year of the conference’s current bowl configuration). West Virginia

Alamo — Great bowl. If you’ve been, you know. I like the matchup up, too. Oregon State

Buffalo Wild Wings — I am picking the Big Ten. Now, Le’Veon Bell, please rush for 350 yards. Michigan State

Music City — There’s great music in Nashville and I’m not talking about that hotdog crap. N.C. State

Sun — Soft spot for the Sun. I imagine it’s a much different trip (security-wise) than when the Hawkeyes last made it in ’97. USC

Liberty — Hlas is driving to this. Iowa State

Chick-fil-A — And now I am hungry. LSU

Heart of Dallas — And now I’m not. Big Ten, let’s pretend this bowl never happened. Oklahoma State

Gator — F-minus on this one, too, Big Ten. (Everyone knows the Holiday Bowl and San Diego is where it’s at.) Mississippi State

Outback — OK, love this one, Big Ten. Love Tampa. I once did a “hammer drop” in one of the WWI bi-planes. It was fantastic. Michigan

Capital One — I saw Paris Hilton in ’04. She drove by in the back of a limo, smoking a cigarette. BORLANDO. Georgia

Rose — I have no Pasadena experience. Wisconsin

Orange — Love Northern being there. Not sure I’m going to love watching it. Northern Illinois

Sugar — After watching “Treme,” I know New Orleans needs my tourist dollars. And I know I need some Crawfish Etouffee. Florida

Fiesta — Phoenix is a fantastic bowl setting. If Iowa ends up with the Insight/Buffalo Wild Wings hat trick, highly recommend. Oregon

Cotton — Love this matchup. Might be the best of the bowl season. I also voted for Johnny Football for the Heisman. Oklahoma

BBVA Compass — As you know, BBVA is my all-time favorite compass. Mississippi

Go Daddy — With Iowa home for the holidays, I’ve made it a goal to watch at least one quarter of every bowl game. This one might be the toughest. Arkansas State

BCS title game — Nick Saban won’t go to Cleveland just like he didn’t go to Miami and Alabama and . . . Hey, the guy wins. Pay the man. Alabama