Todd Dorman

Todd Dorman is a columnist for The Gazette. His blog has been bringing smiles to readers' faces since November 2007.
Updated: 11 December 2012 | 1:09 pm in 24 hour dorman by Todd Dorman, Uncategorized

Open Thread – Bad Christmas Songs


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If you’re one of my Facebook friends, you might have seen my post on a recent exchange between my daughter Ella and I. We were driving to Target while the Ronettes were belting out “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” on the radio.

Ella, from the seat behind me, says, “This song is creepy.”

Really? Why? I ask.

“She wants to kiss Santa,” Ella says.

No, I explain, she saw her mommy kissing Santa.

After a brief pause for reflection, Ella replies, “It’s still disturbing.”

True. It is a curious song, and pretty tough to explain to one of Santa’s little believers. Your choices are limited, if your ultimate goal is to sustain the magic of Santa a while longer. Best to change the subject.

It’s also kind of ironic that Ella thinks this song is creepy, considering that “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is one of her favorites. Kissing Santa is, apparently, less acceptable than being festively detained for cocktails and, well, whatever else.

And speaking of festive detainment, I’m wondering which Christmas/Holiday song or songs send you diving for the radio tuner, Pandora skip button, air horn, etc.

Here’s Grantland’s very fine list of the 10 worst original Christmas songs of the last 10 years. I had no idea The Killers did a holiday song. Yikes. I think the smoking elf in the video may have also managed Herman Cain’s campaign. Could be wrong.

A list from Canada is topped by “The Christmas Shoes.”

Edison Research surveyed 200 women age 30-49 who like or love listening to Christmas music on the radio to come up with its least-liked holiday songs list. It’s topped by the incomparable “Jingle Bells,” by the Singing Dogs. I respectfully disagree.

But, sometimes, very bad can also be good. Just ask the Sweeney Sisters. So many bells.

Maybe you have your own list. Check it twice and post below.

 

 

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Open Thread – Bad Christmas Songs
  1. I have always disliked “The Little Drummer Boy.” The character is invented, the song features dancing animals and an exhausted mother rocking out, and it has that irritating repetitive “ba-rum-tum-tum-tum.” I want it to be the little trumpet player, which would make almost as much a sense and could feature “wah-wah-wah” as the chorus.

  2. The Christmas Shoes tops my list as the worst of all. An incredibly lazy attempt to touch people’s feelings with a heart breaking tale. Whoever wrote it should stay out of the song writing business until they learn the meaning of subtlety. Which will never happen.

  3. Any Christmas song can become a bad Christmas song when you hear it over and over and over.




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