 Todd DormanTodd Dorman is a columnist for The Gazette. His blog has been bringing smiles to readers' faces since November 2007. |
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Secession is nuts, but the Republic of Iowa has potential
There’s now a petition on whitehouse.gov asking that Iowa be allowed to, peacefully, secede from the union and form a new government. Yup.
As of this writing, the petition, created by the mysterious “Frank C,” had received roughly 1,800 signatures, many from outside Iowa. Not sure how to take that. If the petition gets 25,000 signatures by Dec. 12, the White House will ”review it, ensure it’s sent to the appropriate policy experts, and issue an official response.”
Your request to dissolve the union will be addressed in the order in which it was received. Please hold.
Secession petitions from a number of states have been piling up online since President Obama won re-election. I guess if his opponents couldn’t “take back the country” with votes, a few have decided that the patriotic response is to form a new one. On a sour grapes scale, from weak purple Kool Aide to fortified wine, secession is a big ‘oil jug of Thunderbird. Maybe, in time, folks will sober up.
On the one hand, this is no laughing matter. On the other hand, it is a hilarious joke. And after the campaign we just endured, I’m going with hand No. 2. To paraphrase the wise, but poorly chosen, words a state lawmaker once uttered, we must grasp the levity of this situation.
It’s easy to dismiss secession as nuts. And I will. But let’s not be hasty. Our new nation, The Republic of Iowa, might have its upsides.
Gov. Terry Branstad would look very sharp in a snappy military uniform, lots of gold braid, big hat, reviewing the troops at the Iowa Day parade.
You think the Iowa-Iowa State football game is big now? What if it was for the national championship? Every year? Final four? Iowa, Iowa State, UNI and Drake are a lock from now on.
Our secretary of state, Matt Schultz, can stop scouring the state for voter fraud and start opening embassies and negotiating treaties. We could join up with Idaho and Ohio, forming the “Axis of Places with Names that Occasionally Get Mixed Up.” Don’t mess with Idohiowa.
Just think of the economic stimulus we’d get building those high walls, border checkpoints, a navy, etc. Our immigration policy would be strict, unless you’re visiting one of our casinos.
Secession would hurt tourism, you say? Well, we could become a monarchy. People love all that royal stuff.
Or, we could petition France to rescind the Louisiana Purchase and take us back. Lots of Americans want to visit France. So we bring France over here. Des Moines? Ooh la la.
We could even create new states within the ROI. Iowa City could be the capital of Hawktopia. Northeast Iowa could become Dubec. Iowa’s west coast becomes Farmafornia. Other ideas? Siouxlandia? Corridoria? Hogasota? North Misery?
Nah. Forget it. It’s nuts. Sorry, Frank C.
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LOL ! When traveling we frequently get asked where we are from and I usually just say “the midwest” (“about 340 Km west of Chicago”) hoping it will stop there but my wife usually follows-up with “Iowa” which frequently starts the Iowa-Idaho-Ohio confusion (but once prompted a question about “Indian Territory”). “Idohiowa”, I like it. ( ” I-do-hi-o-wa ” ? ) But that will really make people think “Indian Territory” !
This whole succession thing is a hoot. However, on a quasi-serious note, this “movement” tells us who are the adults willing to work for a better Union and who are children that want to take their toys and go home. Sometimes I wish we could give these children their own country. We could call it “headsinthesandia”.
Given the state of affairs in places that have been ruled by liberals for decades, sucession is an intriguing idea. Having just re elected an imperial president who said after his primary victory coronation, “this was the moment the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.” Whether it’s more god-like or king like, it twangs of imperialism to me. I won’t hold my breathe for an official response while deciding which of the 57 states to move to. Doubtful it will be California, Illinois, Michigan or the east coast where the oceans did rise during his majesties rein.
Sue, we just elected another in a long line of Presidents, and a fairly good President at that. Certainly not an “imperial president” whatever that is supposed to mean.
The President, taking the side of science and the physical evidence is not a sign of imperialism. It’s the sign of a man who has the good judgement to recognize the truth and look for ways to prepare for what may come. Frankly, it’s about time we have a President that does just that.
” Intriguing idea ?” Perhaps to those deep inside the bubble that had many Republicans, even near the surface, believing that Romney was going to win when multiple credible data sources indicated that Obama had a strong likelihood to be the winner, and who were shocked when they could no longer deny reality. Intriguing indeed ! About as intriguing as leprechauns. And anyone who who thinks Obama is an “imperial president” should revisit the Nixon presidency. Silly, fuzzy-minded nonsense.
Yes, it is nuts. I’ve been a bit puzzled by the reaction of many people since the election of President Obama in 2008. My hope is the reelection of President Obama is an indication that a good number of people have grown tired of the extremism of the political movement that grew out of his election in 2008 and it is the beginning of the end of it.
This secession nonsense is Internet trolling in typical bad taste. Far too many people have given their lives for this country for its unity to be taken so lightly. In the war that actually decided the legitimacy of secession, 620,000 Americans gave their lives. To bring up secession like this is not honoring the memory of these people.
So Please do tell me…………Who do we characterize as nuts? An anonymous FrankC that creates an anonymous petition?
Or
The standard bearers of The Democratic Party. Lawrence ODonnell and Howard Dean?
A shocked Tony Blankley asked him, “Are you calling for civil war?” To which O’Donnell replied, “You can secede without firing a shot.”
For now, of course, secession remains an escapist fantasy. But its resonance with liberals points to some modest potential for constructive political action. After all, as the South knows well, there are interim measures between splitting the nation and submitting to a culture pushed by a hostile federal government. Having lost any say in how the nation is run, liberals may be about to discover states’ rights — for better or worse.
http://www.salon.com/2004/11/17/states_2/
Nuts…..ya,,ya,, thats it….they’re nuts!
The present movement for secession has been gathering steam for a decade and a half. In preparation for Vermont’s bicentennial in 1991, public debates — moderated by then-Lt. Gov. Howard Dean — were held in seven towns before crowds that averaged 230 citizens. At the end of each, Dean asked all those in favor of Vermont’s seceding from the Union to stand and be counted. In town after town, solid majorities stood. The final count: 999 (62 percent) for secession and 608 opposed.
I could see where a sizeable state like Texas, California, or even Florida could make a credible case for independent nationhood- their economies are large and diverse enough to make such a venture notionally possible, if not very likely. But entirely landlocked, mostly-monoeconomic little Iowa? Don’t think so… this would be the equivalent of a twelve year old demanding to be allowed to leave home and get his own apartment in the worst part of town… how long does anyone think that it would take the adjacent thug-states of Minnesota, South Dakota, Nebraska and Illinois to form a coalition, sweep in, pack President-For-Life Colonel Branstad off to exile in Alaska, and appropriate Iowa’s land for the lebensraum of their own ugly citizens?
Better Fed than dead.
And let’s not forget the worst “neighbor state” of them all- the evil empire of Missouri!
Although I somewhat subscribe to the observation that peeling off the bottom tier of Iowa counties and ceding them to Missouri would appreciably raise the average IQ in both states.
Lorenz,
If I could be absolutely certain that the adjacent thug states would really pack President-For-Life Colonel Branstad off to exile in Alaska, I’d be willing to consider supporting secession for Iowa. But only if I could be absolutely certain this would happen
Be careful what you wish for. If Branstad really were deposed, the cynical conquerors might install Grifter Bob as district governor just to diss the Iowans who survived the invasion slaughter.
Roberta, I would gladly take the red state of Alaska and give you the blues of Hawaii. What happens if Japan, the 2nd largest holder of US bonds, calls on their debt or raise the interest rate? Will the home of Pearl Harbor and the Prseident then be called Hapan?
Sue,
These are Treasury Bonds. The interest rate is set by the Federal Reserve. Japan can’t raise it. They also can’t call in that debt. The only thing they can do is sell off the bonds.
The problem with right wing hysteria over what our creditors can do to us is that our creditors aren’t loan sharks. It is not in their interest to break either our thumbs or kneecaps
What do you mean (Japan) “calls on their debt” and “raise the interest rate” ?
A US Treasury note holder can’t “raise the interest rate”. The repayment terms are set at the time the debt instrument is sold.
The note holders (China, Japan, UK, etc.) also cannot “call [in] their debt [notes]“. They are locked into the payment schedule of the debt issuer. They can sell their notes, but that implies that there would be a interested buyer.
One thing that makes China, as a major holder of US debt instruments, very nervous is the prospect of runaway inflation in the US, or the collapse of the Dollar as a worldwide monetary unit. Since US debt is serviced only in Dollars (not gold or any other tangible commodity), either scenario could result in China holding a very large, and very empty, bag.
So, despite what the Fox blowhards would have you believe, US debt is not collateralized with real property (as in a conventional residential mortgage). If we were to renege on repayment, there would be dire economic consequences for the world, and that would be bad enough for everyone without anticipating the appearance of some global sheriff who would nail a “debtor sale” notice to the doors of the Capitol.
Please, tell me that all conservatives really don’t believe this nonsense- since it’s just a device to frighten the dimwitted and credulous among their ranks, like the “death panel” talk of a few years back.
Sue, I think you are misunderstanding how government bonds work. The Japanese and the Chinese purchase US debt securities with fixed maturity dates and fixed interest rates. They cannot call their debt at any time and they cannot raise the interest they are getting paid. Furthermore, conservatives see the fact that foreign countries are purchasing our debt as a negative when in fact it is a vote of confidence in our economy. They purchase these debts because they are the safest investment in the world.
Also, you stated earlier “Given the state of affairs in places that have been ruled by liberals for decades, sucession is an intriguing idea.” I’m not sure what state of affairs you are looking at, but the fact is that most of the “blue” states have higher standards of living, higher education achievement and better health. The ten poorest states in the country are all Republican controlled. So what exactly do you mean when you refer to the “state of affairs” in liberal states?
http://tinyurl.com/3hnqbpu
To all of the above, I bet you guys are real fun at a party. My comment was not intended to be taken so seriously, Hapan!? It’s true, I am not schooled on monetary policy like the current intellects running this country are. I difinetly went the over simplification route but would you have preferred Jacks scenerio? It could happen.
I know Sue, using factual information to dispute an illogical claim is such a party pooper! Why can’t we all just let people make misleading and completely untrue statements whenever they want?
FACTS – ruining the Tea Party since 2008.
No, we guys would not be much fun at a party for fools, air heads, simpletons, the gullible . . . You said you “went over the simplification route”. Did you mean over the simpleton route ? Who would prefer Jack’s scen(a)rio ? No one who cares about the USA would “prefer” it ! “It could happen.” Well duh, of course it could happen!
Once again Kettleson has demonstrated she does not hesitate to spout-off on something she knows little if anything about. I think we should give her credit in that many of us hesitate before posting lest we make fools of ourselves. Kettleson, in that regard, is fearless !
With over three-quarters of a million people in all 50 States this is far from a “joke”. It’s a statement that just scratches the surface. This nation cannot survive without the “makers”, but it sure can survive without the “takers”.
Mr Noble,
Three quarters of a million? What’s the population of the United States? Three hundred fifty million? You’ve got less than a third of 1% of the population thinking mass secession is the answer.
I got a better suggestion. How about those three quarters of a million people pool their resources, buy an island, set up their own nation, and do what they please with it.
That way you are happy, they are happy, we are happy, win, win
750,000 people is about the current population of Iowa. Maybe a quarter of the state could be partitioned off (say, everything west of Boone) and all the petition-signers invited to move there. Steve King would be delighted to have them.
Yeah, I know that the current population of Iowa is about 3 million. I omitted “a quarter of” between “about” and “the” in the first sentence.
It might be helpful if you reconsider your definitions of makers and takers. The people who work very hard doing all the dirty jobs that really run our country, deserve much more respect than Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, the GOP and you give them.
Head in the sand? What was that? Unemployment claims hit an 18 month high SINCE the election. That’s 78K more than expected. Now Obama wants to meet with Romney so he can explain his “good ideas” on how to get jobs and the economy growing.
While looking for a specific quote from Obama, my first hit was this little gem of our press in action.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/obama-says-he-wants-to-meet-with-romney-to-discuss-how-to-work-together/2012/11/07/3f196340-28a7-11e2-aaa5-ac786110c486_story.html
And we are still better off than we were 4 years ago.
Sue,
We had the worst hurricane in the nation’s history hit the most densly populated area in the country. I would guess that a lot of businesses in affected area shut down and that their employees are now officially out of work As for your New York Times article, the President indicated that he was willing to work with Romney. However, Romney’s most recent analysis of why he lost—the President gave all these people who voted for him free stuff—indicates that Romney doesn’t want to work with the President.
Roberta, suffice to say, Romney was right!
Yes, Romney was right- and a desperate move to the center was all he had left at the end.
Hurricane Sandy has driven unemployment up — one factor. Where did Obama say he wanted to talk to Romney about his “good ideas” ? ( Is that another one you made up in your head? ) If Obama thinks Romney’s counsel has value what is wrong with wanting to meet with him ? What is the “gem” part of the link you provided ?
Cedric, Bless your heart! Hurricane Sandy is partially to blame but the unreported jobless claims missing from California just before the election is suspicious, wouldn’t you agree? Especially since we were told the economy was improving.
http://www.jammiewf.com/2012/surprise-ca-official-who-underreported-unemployment-figures-is-big-obama-donor/
Obama requested a meeting with Romney to steal, I mean discuss, his ideas concerning tax code changes, immigration and an America ” that isn’t threatened by the destructive power of global warming.” Code to mean, no realistic energy policy.
“If Obama thinks Romney’s counsel has value what is wrong with wanting to meet him?” Romney was the recipient of Obamas very nasty lies, he is also a private citizen and not beholden to Obama for anything. If Obama wants and feels entitle to work with republicans I have a suggestion. Work with congress!
Lastly, If you really didn’t understand the link I provided, no explanation from me will help you either.
Sue,
Your link went to a blog—Jammie Wearing Fool–posted by a guy who doesn’t even bother to use a name, much less his real name.
You source has all the credibility of the scribbles on a gas station restroom wall
1,800 people who need to have their citizenship revoked and who should be deported.
Maybe we can get them to take Faux News with them?
Uh, Wright, I don’t think a native-born citizen’s citizenship can be “revoked” and if it were what country could they be deported to ?
Google Enemy Expatriation Act of 2012 (Lieberman/Brown)
Yes, you are correct, citizenship cannot be revoked unless one has committed an act of treason (punishable by death). I think signing a petition to secede could be interpreted as an act of treason. Of course, if you’re really considering renouncing your U.S. Citizenship, there are other safer ways to do so. And for anyone who is considering joining a secessionist movement, I would suggest that you consider those. But for those who don’t, I think ‘traitor’ is a good label for them.
The bottom line is this:
Work within the system if you want change. If your position is reasonable, then you will find support.
There’s a petition on the WH website that calls for exactly that.
Within a couple of days after it appeared, it was 2/3 of the way to getting the number of sigs needed to “be considered”. Whatever that means.
That tells me that, for whatever number of petulant whiners there are out there, there is a much larger number of people who feel that such whining is disgusting and unbecoming of American citizens.
If one goes to the petition on whitehouse.gov website and scrolls down through the signatures it appears that over half are from out-of-state. Take that IA, more our-of-stater signers want you to secede than staters! LOL
That sounds like a flaw in the petition system… quick, everybody- let’s gang up on North Dakota and make sure that their secession petition goes over the top!