Todd Dorman

Todd Dorman is a columnist for The Gazette. His blog has been bringing smiles to readers' faces since November 2007.
Updated: 14 September 2012 | 2:31 pm in 24 hour dorman by Todd Dorman

Online Comment Poetry


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So online reader commenting has been taking some lumps lately.

Some love it. Some hate it. Some see little value in it. But I think there’s something there. Literary, perhaps. Poetic, even.

I read through some of the recent comments on this blog and pulled some lines and phrases here and there that spoke to me. Then, I assembled them into a poem, of sorts.

What? It’s Friday.

Is the poem beat, modernist, postmodern, abstract? I do not know. It could be an entirely new form. Maybe someone in Iowa City knows.

So here it is, still untitled. (Punctuation, spelling, etc., are authentic and unchanged.)

 

Welcome to the United Corporations of America

“Class Warfare” worms wait in hiding for attack

Barack Obama, libs, the Great Society, people who llive in cities, and Kool Aide

dumb and brain dead voters soaking entitlements

Armies of inner city ghetto dumbos

Role out the entitlemen ret carpet

Shouldn’t a welcome sign say, “Welcome”?

 

it doesn’t take a PHD in economics

It takes some kind of whizz kid

the problem with your soak the rich thinking

even if you confiscated all the rich peoples houses

Maybe some brown houses on the left

If I were opposed to elevator music why would I be in favor of snow?

Wisconsin. Sigh.

 

Generation “X” doesn’t know CRAP

too young to remember, too stupid, politically brainwashed

you don’t care about Truman

He didn’t inhale

the smell seeping into the car’s interior

lackys are a dime a dozen

Dorman you are the slacker!

 

Congratulations. You’re poets and didn’t even know it.

 

Rules of Engagement
  • Be truthful. more
  • Be civil. more
  • Be responsible. more
  • Own your words. more
  • Leave the trolls alone. more
  • Take commercial ads elsewhere. more
  • Know that comments will be moderated. more
  • Or what? more
Online Comment Poetry
  1. I’m surprised we are able to comment on your blog yet…seems if the Gazzette was going to pick and choose what it’s readers can post on…they would either be all in…or none at all…this is the only paper that demands your real name…or polices the way people conduct their posting…like yesterday…two people were called on hogging the comment section of an article….there was no cussing just a heated debate…it wasn’t even heated really….looks like control freaks…out of control…I will continue to read your blog…and the obits….enjoy your weekend Tom….

  2. Mr. Dorman, I wrote a poem of my own, I hope you don’t mind, it’s about the new rules and that’s being kind.

    The Gazette can omit what they feel is unfit
    This reader finds it boring and leaves often snoring
    Moderators, censors and the powers that be, have taken
    away some amusement for me
    Election year politics are usually fun but not on these
    pages, they simply won’t run
    You comment too often
    Your tone isn’t right
    the moderator deems, you’re picking a fight
    Censorship is one thing, free speech is another, so close
    to an election, we now have
    “Big Brother”

  3. I applaud the change. If the Bloom article in The Atlantic online mag didn’t persuade outlanders that Iowans are a bunch of pious, witless, and elderly meth-heads, a quick glance at a typical “comment” string would convince any out-of-stater that Eastern Iowa is populated exclusively by “rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, sh*t kickers – and Methodists.”… to quote the incomparable Hedley Lamarr.

    • Jack…I can’t believe the moderator let you get by using bulldykes….must of had to run to Walmart….you were lucky to fall through the cracks….good post tho….

  4. Ok, Todd, tell us, please, why you get to interact with us faceless people out there in cyberland and nobody else does.
    As far as your poem goes, it’s Post Modern, specifically Beat. It’s the “cut-up” method used by Willliam Burroughs to write his best known novels, “Naked Lunch” “Nova Express” et al. Excerpts from “Nova Express” were set to music by the Fugs (Ed Sanders, Tuli Kupferberg, Ken Weaver)—-”Break through in grey room. Towers open fire”

  5. Late to the discussion. The Editor post about limiting comments has been shut to comments. Its less than 4 days but too late for comments on comments. I guess most dont like the tightly controlled very limited comment format, so the best thing is just shut people up. The thing is media exists to shape opinion, not report facts. So having the partisan skew exposed serves the owners no purpose. Thus the very controlled, thought shaping policy. The old media has lost their sway, and it is painful.




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