Notes columns are the laziest form of column-writing known to our civilization.

So anyway, I’m looking at the brighter side of this so-called curse plaguing University of Iowa running backs. It’s important to remember none have ever been dismissed from the team because they were caught cattle-rustling.

Mike Trout, back in the day

* How many gold medals would Carl Lewis would have won had there been a 90-meter run and a 125-meter run and a 150-meter run as well as a 100 and a 200?

Lots. That’s what I think, Michael Phelps.

* It won’t rank as one of the top 100 regrets of my life (like not buying Apple stock 10 years ago, not making sure my sump pump worked before the hard rains of June 2008, and watching five minutes of “Jersey Shore”), but I wish I’d seen Mike Trout of the Los Angeles Angels play one game when he was with the Cedar Rapids Kernels.

Now I feel I must weigh in on whether the Kernels should stay with the Angels or get a new major-league affiliation, say, with the Minnesota Twins.

And that feeling is, total neutrality. Either is fine. It’s not like a major-league affiliation has made or broken a Midwest League franchise. But if the Twins would bring sell a few dozen tickets per year here, go ahead and get hitched with Minnesota.

* In 2014, Northern Iowa’s men’s basketball team will have Wes Washpun from Cedar Rapids Washington, Max Martino from Cedar Rapids Kennedy, Matt Bohannon from Linn-Mar, and Jeremy Morgan and Wyatt Lohaus from Iowa City West.

If UNI basketball were to advertise on an I-380 billboard between Cedar Rapids and Iowa City around that time, it would actually make sense.

* No Iowa running back has ever been forced to leave the program because he tugged on Superman’s cape, spit into the win, or tugged on the mask of that old Lone Ranger.

* North Korean Gold medalist Kim Un-Guk, who set an Olympic record in 62-kilogram weightlifting, said “I won first place because the shining Supreme Commander Kim Jong Un gave me power and courage.”

Kim Jong-un

Not to mention the fear of being sent to a labor camp had he lost.

* The season-premiere of “On Iowa Live” on KCRG 9.2 is Monday at 6:30 p.m., from Fieldhouse Southwest Sports Bar near Westdale Mall.

Join us. Win prizes. Get information and opinions straight from us having attended Iowa’s football Media Day on Monday afternoon.

And remember, we work on tips.

* Quarterback Steele Jantz and punter Kirby Van Der Kamp of Iowa State are on Yardbarker.com’s 2012 all-name college football team. They’re joined by some good company.

My favorites are Marshall receiver Jazz King, Navy defensive back Wave Ryder, and Buffalo linebacker Wonderful Terrific Monds II.

* I was at the Atlanta Olympics in 1996. Chick-fil-A is headquartered in Atlanta. Yet, I don’t remember anyone talking about Chick-fil-A during the Atlanta Olympics.

But put the Olympics in London, and Chick-fil-A is all over the news. Don’t you think that’s odd?

* No Iowa running back was ever kicked off the team because he wrote all his emails, tweets and Facebook updates IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.