Making hay of Iowa's straw poll

This might be the only time I tell you to stop taking politics so seriously. But honestly, people, we've got to lay off the straw poll.

How will today's turnout shape the fledgling 2012 presidential race? Will it matter? Not matter? To whom?

These are heavy questions for what's essentially a politically themed tailgate. With voting, of course - of a sort.

I don't doubt the Iowa Republican Party's boast that straw poll voting will be at least as secure as in a real-live election. They've given it lots of thought: requiring ID and a ticket, marking voters with indelible ink.

But even if they tattooed “I voted” on everyone's forehead, the straw poll would be no more scientific than the coffee bean caucus at Iowa City's Hamburg Inn.

That's not the intent, but it won't be enough, so pundits will try calling the poll a test of candidates' field operations.

I guess they don't know just how easy it is to be lured onto a bus by the promise of free barbecue.

Which is to say, they must not be from Iowa.

Don't get me wrong, the straw poll is a shining jewel in our state's proud history of political hazing, of making candidates run the obstacle course of Midwestern experience.

We make them march in Fourth of July parades and try our favorite type of pie. We make them rattle off the number of towns and counties they've blown through in attempt to woo our stubborn state. Candidates hoping to establish Iowa credibility memorize the names of our small towns like devoted elementary school kids.

In return, we listen to stump speech after stump speech, laugh at Tim Pawlenty's offer to mow our lawns, sample Rick Santorum's famous peach preserves.

You want to be a serious contender in Iowa? Pony up for your spot outside Hilton Coliseum. There's nothing wrong with it - a little fun. A diversion from the heavy stuff of policy and debate.

The problem comes when we mistake events for issues. And here, I've got to point a big finger at my industry.

Hundreds of journalists will try to make news of today's event. Analysts will bicker over whether Michele Bachmann or Pawlenty booked the better local bands.

Maybe one will launch an investigation into whether Santorum's jam is truly “famous,” or if his family really picked the peaches, as they claim.

“Turn the economy around? Absolutely. I'll tell you all about it.”

“But first, wouldn't you rather watch me eat this piece of pie?”

There's no harm in a little tailgate if we keep it in perspective. There's a danger in trying to make it mean more than it bears.

Comments: (319) 339-3154; jennifer.hemmingsen@sourcemedia.net