Hlastradamus: Excuse the prophet for recent stumbles, he's been busy creating ad copy

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March 31, 2014 | 6:50 am

Hlastradamus used to be a mere prophet. Now he's multimedia. TV segments, Webcasts, radio appearances ... and writing copy for bobbleheads?

Uh (gulp), yes:

No actual football player has that color of hair, of course. Well, other than Brett Favre. But don't go there, girlfriend.

The prophet only has three games for you this week. He isn't touching Wisconsin-Iowa, but he points this out:  Wisconsin is 1-5 vs. the pointspread this year while Iowa is 4-2. The Badgers got their first cover of the season last week against Ohio State. On with the show:

Minnesota +9 vs. Penn State. The Gophers are 4-2 against the spread (We call it ATS in the seer business) while Penn State is just 1-4. The Gophers have to stand up and make a positive statement at some point this season, don't they? Well, don't they? So why not at home in the week their head coach was fired?

Texas -20.5 vs. Iowa State. That's not a lot of points. The Longhorns have obviously rounded into shape since their debacle of a home loss to UCLA, while the Cyclones are on a downbound train, facing a national power for the third-straight week.

Oklahoma -2.5 at Missouri. The prophet looks at these two teams and doesn't see similar talent. It was like the first time the prophet saw Alec and Stephen Baldwin together.

What do you humans say? Can Iowa cover 5.5? Can Michigan State cover the 6 at Northwestern? Other lines for your consideration:

Ohio State by 23.5 vs. Purdue.

Illinois 13.5 over Indiana.

Notre Dame 6.5 at Navy

Auburn 6 vs. LSU

Nebraska 6 at Oklahoma State

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